Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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