Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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