Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
We are two peas in an std pod
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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