I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
