the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Randomize
