Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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