You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
