that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
