it wasn't lemon gatorade
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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