Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
