We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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