i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
