Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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