He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize