Welp...herpes.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
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