Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
