there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
