At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
