Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
