I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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