I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Randomize
