I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
