it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
