It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
All I want is dick and wine.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
