May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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