but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
