insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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