now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
