It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
this will be a night to untag.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
