So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
