Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
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