Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
