I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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