he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
