I wannas sexs uuuuu
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize