whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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