she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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