You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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