You're so nebulous sometimes
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
