Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
