I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
