Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
