I want to make a zoo with you.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
can u get pink eye on your cock?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
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