a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize