Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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