I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
