honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize