You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
