I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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