the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
