And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
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