He asked to "fluff my boner.."
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
