He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
