I CAN MOONWALK!
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
