That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
