so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Randomize
